A Change of Seasons

I really think i have lost my ability to post proper, meaningful and, er, interesting things. Like how come last time i could post long, proper posts about my thoughts and stuff and now i got nothing haha. Maybe this year i'm just thinking less. Oh man. I shouldn't have deleted my old blogposts when i revived my blog. Then i can like refer to them to see how i did it haha. I'm really just posting now cause i'm bored.

Since i didn't tell anyone school people about this blog i guess i can blog openly about school? Hmm. School is getting funner as the days go by. I realise i'm kinda beginning to get to know more people in class that i've never really talk to before. And i'm really beginning to love 421. Our class spirit is really strong. Well, every teacher that has taught us (and even some who don't) doesn't like us, but we'll prove them wrong at O levels. We'll do well, just like every 421 has before us.

I guess i'm really beginning to enjoy the company of SJI people alot more. People that i can really be myself with. That i can go as crazy as i want with, and they'll just crazy along. Yet i can be totally serious with them too. I don't understand people that hate school so much anymore. Sad to say, i don't feel that way about the church people. Not anymore. I don't know what happened, maybe it's just me that's changing. Yeah it probably is. There aren't many people in fly that i actually feel totally comfortable with anymore. Only a few. Really few. People in fly that i can totally be myself with? Sad to say, none. (I think) But who am i anyway? It seems like i keep changing to fit the people around me. I think know who i am though. Maybe.

Isn't a CG supposed be to people that we can openly share with? According to the survey done in church. "I am not afraid to appear vulnerable in front of my cell group". Really? 0/5. Some CG. I've got so much stuff i wanna share about. About my life, my faith journey, other stuff. But my CG right now, is definitely not who i would share it to. In fact i really don't know anyone i can talk openly about my christian journey to. Quite sad isn't it? That i feel too awkward even to pray with my CG, much less openly share my problems. I'm quite sure most of the rest in the CG feel the same way, judging from how our CG discussions go. Or maybe it's just me, and i'm just the one that doesn't dare to share anything. I feel totally disconnected from the CG people. Though it's not as if our CG was very close to begin with.

I'll be in my prayers.